someday

If not now, then when?

I was sitting at my desk in my office, and was working on my schedule. I pulled out my calendar and reazlied suddenly that “someday” wasn’t there. I flipped the page, thinking it was maybe next week. No… not there either. What could I have done with that? I thought, “Maybe I stuck it in a page a few weeks ago and forgot to move it from there.” I searched and searched, and seems I came up empty. I am thinking I may have left it wherever I last put “soon” and “later.”
I can’t seem to find them either.
So I went on about my work and decided I would look again….. Someday.
If not now, then when? When will I find the time? When will I remember to look again?
I live and die by my calendar. I make to-do lists every night before I go to bed. If I forget, my eyes usually fly open just as sleep was going to take me to the place I was needing desperately to go and I grab my phone to write myself an email. I know if I list everything and send it, I won’t forget. I also know I won’t stay awake all night worrying about remembering.
I try to make it a habit to do something when I think about it. I can recall a couple of times when I thought about putting things off until another day, and funny enough, that day never came.
There were even a few times in my life I decided to wait to see someone important to me.
And unfortunately, just like cleaning out the closet or washing the car, I never had the opportunity.
I was working one Friday afternoon, just a few years out of college and in the corporate world. I was the Inventory Manager for a large data company. I was in charge of coordinating the installations of the equipment with the technicians and project managers and engineers. My job was to make sure the modems and cables, etc. were on site when they were supposed to be for each project nationwide.
I was tired, cranky, had a lot to do, and just wanted to go home. It was almost Christmas and I couldn’t wait to have a few days off. I was also not feeling well, just getting over the flu. My co-worker who also happened to be my brother-in-law’s brother, poked his head in my door and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. We did lunch together every other Friday almost. He wanted to go to his favorite little hole in the wall that I introduced him to right down the street from the office. I quickly said no, I didn’t have time and I would have to catch him on Monday.
He was quick to say, no problem… told me to have a great weekend. He was leaving then to go pick up his daughter from college for break. He was so excited to her. I half listened, and waved bye.
He left and as he walked away I got back to what I was doing. I had no idea it would be the last time I would ever see him.
Tom died in a single engine plane crash that Sunday.
Most of the people in my life know my story about Abby, the softball player I coached at Unionville HS. She died in a car accident the night before I was to see her for a lesson. I was away just before that and she had wanted to come by and say hi. We couldn’t make it work… I was too busy. We figured we would just see each other that Friday.
I know these are drastic and extreme examples of how time can be our enemy, how we often blow things off when it seems like we can do it another time. However, we find out the hard way that we aren’t the makers of our life calendar. Sometimes we have no control.
But I have gone through this enough in my life that you would think I have learned. I have. However, it’s so easy to be human. To forget sometimes what’s important and to make time for those things. I keep looking at my calendar to find times to squeeze in time for me, for my family, for the things that matter most.
I think I am going to put away the laptop for the night and say goodnight to my dogs and go to bed. I have a date to go peach picking with my family on Sunday. I am going to enjoy every second of the view, every moment I can share with the ones I love.
After all, I found Sunday on my calendar.

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