There are a hundred famous quotes about why NOT… About tempting fate and letting it know that you have just as good a chance at something as anyone else.
Then Russell Wilson came along last month and gave us his Cinderella story. He asked the question, “Why not me?” And he got a lot of support and recognition for going up against those who have been there, who have experience, who know how to get things done. When he asked “why not,” he created awareness for people who didn’t think before that moment that they could be the one either.
So in all aspects of life, we tell ourselves stories. Stories become our truth, and then we own whatever it is that we told ourselves in the first place.
“I am too short to be… I am not in good enough shape to…. I am not good enough to….”
And then the moment comes along where someone else tells us it’s ok to ask “why not” and all of a sudden we start to believe that maybe we can.
OR, we start to answer the question.
“Why not me?”
“Well, I will tell you why not. Because you are too short and too out of shape and not good enough…. That’s why.”
Uh oh. Back to where we started.
In the sports psychology world, we call “why NOT” avoidance thinking. It is never a good idea to use a negative word in any kind of thought pattern you are trying to instill. So when athletes or business people alike tell me what their intentions are and they start out like this: “To no longer… To not… Get rid of… stop doing…”
I know we are in trouble. What happens if we shift our focus to the things we actually WANT to do instead of what we are trying to avoid. Time and time again when I was coaching, I would hear the constant chatter of “don’t lose the batter, don’t get picked off, don’t let them score,” and I am pretty sure those words at times came from my own mouth.
Instead, how about telling her what you WANT her to do? This way she will focus on nothing but that.
And the same goes with our every day life. When I focus on what I don’t want and it keeps showing up, chances are it is going to keep showing up until I stop the pattern of behavior.
I think when Russell Wilson asked “why not me?” It opened some doors and started the conversation. I think the question is valid. But as soon as our humanness takes over, and doubts enter the equation, we answer the question with all the stories we have told ourselves up until now.
Perhaps the real question is “WHY ME?” And we stop asking it when things go wrong, but instead when we have a real opportunity to show up as our best selves. Because when we focus on all the good we bring to the table, we often actually bring it… and then… well… good things happen.
Be aware that “why not?” opens the door… but you actually have to walk through it and paint the “whys” all over the walls as you do. Ask the right questions, and the right answers show up.
Because I am brilliant, loving, gifted, and a student of life always.
And…. coming from a kid who battled the monsters of confidence for so long, my answers make my eyes water.
And it’s good.